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Living as a Better You

We are so often our own worst enemies, and we can be particularly vicious when we notice we’re feeling good about ourselves. Feeling successful leaves us vulnerable to the haters around us and to the little spiteful voice inside our own heads.

It’s easy to say you should tell that voice to shut up, but we all know it’s much easier said than done. Watch out for how your own brain will try to devalue your accomplishments and leave you just as uncertain as you were before your successes.

In terms of your own life, you have a new job. You’re a goal engineer. Like anyone who designs and builds successfully, you have something to show for your work. Don’t let yourself become blind to your accomplishments by those old monsters of self-doubt and low self-worth.

Lock It In

Do not allow your brain to normalize your accomplishment. After all your work and sacrifice, don’t start listening to the voice that says anyone could have done it or that it really wasn’t all that difficult. You planned and researched, you got people in your feedback loop, you plotted and made a vision board, you sacrificed and you pushed. You had to become more capable, disciplined, educated, and experienced to reach your goal.

You climbed that mountain. Don’t look back now and let yourself believe it was only a molehill.

Let Yourself Be the New You

Remember how valuable it was to have written plans for your path to success? It’s time to get out the pencil and paper once again.

Sit down several times over this feeling of success and write down the positive changes you see not just in your life but also in yourself.

Note the differences:

  • I own my own business, vs., I made the right choices, I found people to believe in my idea, I raised the capital, and I invested wisely, so now I own my own business.
  • I have more resources to help families in need, vs., I am trusted with more resources to help families in need; I am good at helping families in need.
  • I am now a professional dancer, vs., I have joined my body and mind to create beauty that others enjoy, I have proven I am willing to sacrifice for my art to a degree that I am able to do what few others can do, and my abilities have earned me a place with a professional dance company.

The processes of learning and growing should never stop, and being self-defeating (especially when calling it “modesty”) will bring your development to an end if you don’t allow yourself to feel all the good things inside your new, successful skin.

To avoid stalling out, or even going backward, you need to own your strengths and integrate them into your future goal setting.  Unless you deliberately and consciously name just what you’ve done and what you now know you can do, those same strength may fade. 

Confidence is the opposite of egotism. Use that confidence to design your next ambitious, true-to-yourself goal.